A Pirate’s Log

Great waves of water sweep across the poop deck as the maties load the cannons.  Having just come out of his quarters the captain steps on the deck dressed long clothed ready for battle.

“Sail ho! We have a spanish galleon of the horizon, set to reef sails you swine, the ocean is a brewin’ a storm,” exclaiming the captain!
As sailors run around, the ship starts to close in on the spaniard vessel.
“Load the guns and prepare to board you scallywags!” yelling the captain again.
As the ships makes the final closing meters and the cannons are loaded as the captain continues giving orders.

“Fire in the hole!” the captain yells.

The with boisterous voices the sailors repeat the captains order down the line so that the other sailors can hear over the six pounders.
“Prepare to board,” the captain said while pulling out his razor sharp cutlass.
As sailors grab their blunderbusts and cutlasses, cannon balls flew through the Spanish ship sending many to Davy Jones Locker. Swinging across from ship to ship the battle rages on. Wood splinters and blood flew through the air until as if all at once the sounds stop with the pirates victory.
“It shouldn’t be quiet you scallywags, start yelling to tell the seven seas of our victory,” yelled the captain! With a violent roar every pirate on both ships yelled with all their lungs. Then out of the yelling some of the pirate crew came from the hold of the Spanish ship running out of the captain.

“Cap'n we've found some prisoners in the deck,” said a pirate.

“Ahoy! I know that picaroon!” said the captain. “Arr! What happened to ye buccaneer? Last time I saw ye you were marooned!”

The prisoner, loaded to the gunwalls, said, “I have been drinking rum all day long! That`s the only thing I know.”

“Show a leg! We're fighting for GOLD!” said Blackbeard.

“Let’s cross swords me friend. We’re going to be as rich as the queen of England!”

And as if two dancers the two pirates were now hoping around with the joy of victory.

“Dead men tell no tales,” said the Captain, “Let’s find the booty and then scuttle this ship!”.

And finally here it was, the TREASURE! Blackbeard`s eyes were as gold as the sun. He started wearing the King’s crown and counting all the doublons.  Then leaving the Spanish ship burning the pirate king set sail on the open sea.

Italian stereotypes

Since I came here, everybody was asking me about Italian stereotypes, are they true or not?
(to describe Italy or other cities/regions I`m going to use their Italian name, I think it`s more appropriate)
I`d like to start speaking about one of the most common stereotype, MAFIA.
Yes, MAFIA, when someone that`s think about ITALIA, he thinks about mafia.
Mafia does exist, especially in the South of Italy, like Sicilia (Sicily) or Napoli (Naples), and yes it`s a real big problem, but we`re not talking about the criminal organizaton that kills thousands and thousands of people, we`re talking about an organization that owns most of the shops and most of the people in the South of Italy, and use them to earn money.
ITALIAN ARE MORE HAIRY: that`s not true, like the U.S. persons are different, there could be a blonde Italian, a bald Italian, an hairy Italian, an Indian Italian and people with different origin.
WE PUT CHEESE IN OUR FOOD: that`s not true! We just have some type of pasta were our salse is made of cheese, but we don`t put parmigiano in our pizzas, in fact we usually eat parmigiano all by himself as a garnish.
WE EAT ONLY PIZZA: I`ve been here for a month and honestly American people eat more pizza than I usually do in Italia, and I eat a lot of pizza.
WE EAT SPAGHETTI WITH MEATBALLS: that`s not even true, I`ve never seen someone eating spaghetti with meatballs.
WE MOVE OUR HANDS WHILE WE ARE TALKING: that`s true, sometimes our hands say more than our tongue.
They asked me if you can choose who we`re going to marry... OF COURSE WE DO! I`M FROM ITALY, I`M NOT LIVING IN BURUNDIA OR KENYA!
WE LOVE COOKING: I`m not sure it is true, honestly I do, and I hate all the Italian American food I`ve been eating here.

From the U.S.
Italian Stereotyped